The Second

Second children are great for many reasons. They usually are more agreeable, go with the flow easier, are more self entertained or have their sibling to amuse them, so in a lot of ways they are a lot easier. However, when it comes to keeping a good nap schedule I beg to differ.

If you are super mom or a saint then you should not read this post~Who ever can keep their second on a strict schedule either has or is the following:
1-Grandparents to help
2-Their kids are spread 6 years or more apart (goes to school full time)
3-They have no life
4-Their kid is a saint

Now I am referring to the youngins who are supposed to take 2 naps a day. they go from 3 to 2 relatively quick but keep the second until 15-18 months, maybe longer. With my first I was so strict. I made sure I was home for naps and bedtime right on time! I was not flexible and well neither was my son, perhaps that was my fault. But to say the least he was my first, I read all the books and did what they told me to and really what the hell else did I have to do? It is not like there was preschool to drop off or pick up, or sports etc...Maybe if your second or third or however many you have is in daycare, perhaps they have 2 naps a day because things are scheduled and because they are in one place all day long so they can do so. Honestly I do not know much about daycare other then what I hear from others who take their kids there. So if you are a stay at home parent and have 2 kids relatively close together there is no "schedule" for the second. I mean you try, you really really do but how do you maintain two naps a day? I do not have family around to  help, no retired grandparents that can come over while I run errands or no grandparents to take my son or pick up from preschool. My kids are 2.5 years apart. I have a life, or at least I try. And while my kids are great kids they are no saints!

So my daughter is stubborn, and let me tell you why.  Around 8 months of age or so she fell out of her crib because she was so pissed off at me! I had rocked her for 20 or more minutes and decided to leave her to figure it out.  As I walked away she began to scream her little head off and pull herself up on the crib rails. To avoid listening to all the screaming I went outside to retrieve my bag from the car and to just take a deep breath and repeat "serenity now, serenity now" to myself. I was literally outside 2 minutes if that and when I came back in I heard a thud...I thought what was that, she must have thrown something. And then I heard the crying getting louder and louder. She pushed open her door and came crawling out screaming her head off! (she was not walking yet) And after checking her over and calming her down I just broke out dying of laughter. It was pretty darn funny she was so pissed she hurled herself out of her crib! Needless to say we lowered the crib before bedtime and I am happy to report it has not happened since:) Well the falling out, the screaming still happens...

Back to the issue of 2 naps. I have whole heartedly tried to do what the "experts" tell me to do. Nap times between 9 & 10a.m. and 1&3 p.m. start times. Well it was easy when my daughter was portable but she is 14 months now and is so stubborn lately. I diligently will come home from taking my son to preschool and put her down for her nap at 9:30a.m. which she does relatively easily. The only problem is I have to wake her up to get my son from preschool! The 2 hours and 15 minutes is just not enough by the time I get home and get her down and well its time to go back and get him, and DON'T even get me started on the 2 hours and "15" minutes, are you flipping kidding me? Why can't it be 2 and half hours like everyone else at his age group? Does it really make that much of a difference? Oh I could go on about that for days so I'll get back to the subject at hand. So I have to wake my daughter up after an hour or less somedays of a nap, why bother right? I don't know? I guess I've been trying to do what is "best" for her according to the "experts" who write the books.  Then when it comes time for the afternoon nap-Oh it is just ridiculous because I would say 85% of the time she gives me the worst time and refuses to sleep! I'll hold her but that only works half of the time. I'll leave her to cry or play in her crib but even after an hour she is still awake either screaming at me or talking away.  By that time it is either 3:30 or 4 and well it isn't likely she is going to sleep so she just goes to bed early. But then on these days her night sleep is usually worse. You would think the opposite but it is not true, kids sleep better when they have better day time sleep.  Anyhow some of my friends have been telling me to just go to one nap and I've experimented before but it was usually bad results but more and more I'm just going to do it I mean really is her brain going to suffer that much? Plus my sanity would appreciate a one good long nap verses 1 short and maybe one more short nap with a child who is losing her mind by 5p.m. and a mommy so frazzled and stressed out because she can't make dinner or spend any quality time with her son because she spent most of her afternoon trying to get her kid to sleep! Not to mention a husband who makes me feel guilt for considering going to one nap so soon "but what about her brain development?" he'll say...WTF are you home all day every single day with no such thing as weekends? I'm not saying my husband isn't a great help and a great dad and husband but sometimes I have to look at him and say uh.....you're joking right?

I don't know I just wanted to vent a little on this subject. If you have thoughts or would like to share some of your experience please do!